February 13, 2025 – February is often associated with Valentine’s Day; however, this month is also dedicated to providing awareness towards an issue affecting many teenagers.
February is also Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, aimed towards warning the public about the dangers of violence within romantic relationships among adolescents.
Local organizations such as the Marjaree Mason Center are sharing the warning signs of teen dating violence and abuse to help combat the issue and spark a positive change for dating relationships among teenagers in the future.
Jealousy and Possessiveness
Jealousy and possessiveness can be one of the most obvious external signs of abuse within a relationship. While partners may indeed express a desire to spend time with one another, if that desire turns into taking someone away from their friends and family, wanting their partner to only be with them constantly, or treating a significant other like he or she belongs to that person, it could be a sign of violence. A healthy relationship should allow for a reasonable balance of spending time with one’s significant other and being with loved ones as well.
Other signs of jealousy and possessiveness can also include a lack of trust and controlling behavior. Lack of trust often looks like a partner constantly questioning where their significant other has been, who they are spending time with, and falsely accusing them of lying or cheating. This leads to controlling behavior, such as a partner constantly monitoring their location, private conversations, and sometimes even stalking them.
Emotional manipulation and gaslighting
Another red flag of a violent relationship is a significant other frequently guilt-tripping someone or making them doubt their reality, also known as “gaslighting.”
Here’s an example of gaslighting: a significant other leaves the door unlocked when they leave the house. The other partner points it out to them and reminds them to lock the door when they leave, but the partner, not wanting to take the blame, tells the other that they must have imagined it.
Occasionally, this could be a mistake by one partner if they forgot about it, but if this happens frequently, it signals a serious issue. This could lead to a partner doubting themselves and an increased dependency on the other partner, who is being deceptive and not taking responsibility for their actions.
Verbal attacks
Verbal attacks in an abusive or violent relationship can easily masquerade as “joking around” and are therefore not taken seriously but are an unfortunate reality of unhealthy relationships. It can include things like name-calling, yelling, or insulting one’s partner, both in public and/or privately.
Sometimes, verbal attacks in a relationship are not taken seriously by the violent partner, who say they were “joking around” or “weren’t serious” when others point out their behavior. Friends and significant others can sometimes make lighthearted humor at another’s expense, but if it happens frequently and targets a partner’s insecurities, it’s likely an issue that requires looking into.
These verbal attacks can also take the form of insults regarding someone’s boundaries, values, or opinions. For example, if someone’s partner expressed being uncomfortable with a certain level of physical or sexual contact with their significant other, but the partner initiating the contact continually insisted on engaging with their partner in that manner, they are disregarding their partner’s physical and sexual boundaries.
So, what’s next?
This is not a completely exhaustive list of what an unhealthy relationship may look like, but if your relationship or that of someone you know is exhibiting these signs, it may be indicating an abusive or violent relationship.
Teens who find themselves in an abusive or violent relationship are encouraged to reach out to a trusted adult or organizations such as the Marjaree-Mason Center for advice and help for their situation.
They can be reached online at www.mmcenter.org, by phone on their 24-Hour Crisis Hotline at (559)233-HELP (4357), or at their office in Fresno at 1600 M Street, Fresno Ca 93721.